DIY Dating vs. Matchmaking

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Making It is my new happy place. This DIY crafter competition show is an explosion of glitter and magic and kindness and creativity.

The contestants craft for patches and a $100,000 prize at the end. Though, as host Amy Poehler says in every episode, “We’re not making a big deal about the cash, because the real prize is a job well done.”

Cue me crying my eyes out with happiness and excitement while a talented crafter glues two pieces of wood together to make an abstract quilt.

I always walk away so inspired to DIY. 

DIY crafting is definitely sexy right now (and forever). But when talking about your dating life, doing-it-yourself is not sexy at all.

Clients come to me as a matchmaker because they're over DIYing. They’re exhausted from the dating game and are unsure if they can find the right sort of person on their own. 

Being a matchmaker means I represent a mythical, magical fairy godmother to some, working to take away the swiping and deliver “the one” on a silver platter.

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Sometimes, I succeed in introducing a couple that stays together forever. Most of the time, though, people don’t walk away from the experience with their forever person. 

Dating can definitely suck, so I understand the appeal of handing off the work to a professional.

But this method of “fixing” your dating life isn't a long-term solution. 

As the third most successful matchmaker out of 160 at the firm I work for (#humblebrag), I know there are some magical things about the process, but not because I find someone’s soulmate.

Enter the question I get all the time, “What is a dating coach and why does it matter?”

I think of it like job hunting. If you were struggling to find the right job, it would be so exciting if a headhunter tapped you for an amazing position. All you’d have to do is show up to your interview and shine.

The problem with both matchmaking and headhunting is that for most, these solutions are  unattainable and unsustainable.

Instead of waiting on a headhunter to give you an opportunity, those stagnant and frustrated in their job hunt could hire a coach who specializes in helping people with their career search. This pro would help decipher the exact qualities of your dream job, figure out what is holding you back in your search/interview process and come up with solutions to creatively unstick you from wherever you're getting held up.

Odds are, after working with this coach, you’d walk away with a concrete plan of action, confidence in your direction and assurance that your next job will be the right one.

A dating coach like me does the same thing for your love life. It’s about gaining clarity in what you’re looking for, identifying the stories standing in your way and developing a strategy tailored to your personality. So you can date on your terms, feel more confidence and meet your person along the way.

I started Brazen because I was deeply saddened by the loneliness, fear, anxiety and hopelessness that most of my clients and friends felt in their dating lives.

And I knew women could gain freedom, confidence and power from the knowledge I’d gleaned from setting up hundreds of dates. 


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If you want help achieving a magical, joy-filled dating life, it’s necessary to take the DIY approach with a coach showing you the way.

That magic looks like confidence before, during and after a date. Less dating burnout and less sting from rejection. It looks like complete clarity around where and how to meet the sort of person that would make you come alive. It means trusting your gut unequivocally on and after a date. So you can revel in your dating life instead of being depleted by it.

What would it look like for you to actually enjoy your dating life? How would that change your life overall? Let me know in the comments below! 

If you’re nodding your head yes, yes, yes to any of this, if you want to successfully DIY your dating life with Brazen, now’s your chance.

Lily WombleComment