The Scientific Reason Dating Apps Suck (and how to beat them)

Y’all, dating apps are built to scientifically addict you.

As shown by a study done by the F.C. Donders Center for Cognitive Neuroimaging in the Netherlands, “[Dating apps] hijack the brain’s system of reward learning to keep individuals hooked.”

In this video, I break down exactly how dating apps keep us coming back (and how you can beat them at their own game).

A huge issue I see from my clients is dating apps creeping into every moment of their day. I see constant swiping on the elevator during work, at dinner, in bed, or even on a date. These dating app dopamine hits are like fast food — gratifying in the moment and fleeting. They’ll also leave you craving more.

To give yourself a chance at real connection, you need to limit the amount of time you spend on dating apps and messaging.

The fix: Use a dating app only 10-20 minutes a day when you feel good about yourself, when you’re cozy and awake. This is because when you feel alert, safe and strong, you will make more empowered dating decisions than if you were swiping mindlessly, and too tired or distracted to stay focused on your goals.

To decide when you feel “cozy,” think: 20 minutes after work, curled up on your couch. Or, with your coffee in the morning after a quick meditation.

Swiping and messaging in a set period of time per day will lead to lower stress, higher quality matches, and a greater sense of agency over your dating life. Keeping someone waiting for a response for a few hours may work to your benefit, too.

With this method, you’ll have fewer matches in your inbox, but those matches will be much more exciting and your type than those you find with aimless swiping.

After you watch today’s video, hit reply with a comment sharing your thoughts. Have you been addicted to dating apps? How did you beat that addiction?

(This post is a breakdown of my longer article on Instyle.com. Check it out here.)

Remember, what is meant for you will not pass you by.


Want to work with me one-on-one? Schedule a Dating Boost Call to see if The Brazen Breakthrough is right for you.

Lily WombleComment